Julian,

Anal sex always hurts, right?

Thanks,
S

Dear S,

Wrong.

Enjoy yourself,
Julian

P.S. Just in case you wanted more information, anal sex can be a very enjoyable experience for all involved, regardless of your gender or sexual identity. As with anything in life, if you do it wrong, you have the chance of hurting yourself. If you do it right, it is incredibly pleasurable. Males have this lovely thing called the prostate which earned itself the title “Male G-Spot” and the female G-Spot can be stimulated through anal sex as well. Additionally, the area has a plethora of nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated.

The two most important things about anal sex are taking things slow and lubrication. You need more warm-up for anal play than you do for other varieties of fun. Many people enjoy starting with fingering and small toys, and I highly recommend that. While that area of your body is designed for a good time, it requires a bit of coaxing to have it ready for full penetration. The right lube is also vital, and I can direct you to Self Serve where they carry some excellent varieties. Yes, there is lube specifically designed for anal play, not to mention Astroglide Gel, which is anal sexpert Tristan Taramino’s lube of choice. There’s a lot more to anal sex than just classic penetration, the potential for extra stimulation and more powerful orgasms is endless. For example, slipping vibrating toy such as a plug, bullet or egg into your ass transforms you into a vibrating toy. What could have just been “normal sex” can now be a more intense and pleasurable experience for all parties involved. There are some wonderful books and videos on the topic, and I’m sure there will be some good examples at Pornotopia (Tristan Taormino will be there for screenings and is teaching a class on Monday Nov. 9.)