Hey Julian,

So what’s up with David Carradine anyway?

—Dee

Hey Dee,

OK, time to address this one. First of all, I am not a forensic pathologist, a detective, a personal friend of the Carradines or a doctor, nor was I in the hotel in Thailand when this very unfortunate incident occurred. According to reports on the Internet, homicide has not been ruled out, but suicide has. If Mr. Carradine’s untimely death was not a homicide, then the most likely cause was autoerotic asphyxiation. Michael Hutchence of INXS probably died the same way back in the ’90s, as have a far-too-large number of other people, Frequently, it results in false allegations of murder (when partners are in the home) or suicide.

So, Dee, here are the details. I hope they’ll satisfy your curiosity. Autoerotic asphyxiation is the act of cutting the flow of oxygen to the brain to heighten sexual experience. Does it work? Yeah, but at what cost? Deaths diagnosed as a result of autoerotic asphyxiation in the U.S. alone are in the hundreds, and this is why: People are risking their lives to get off. Now, have I engaged in some risky activities to enjoy myself? Yes, and most of us have. People enjoy things ranging from skydiving to knife play—but the biggest difference is that most people do risky activities with other people. The vast majority of those who practice this form of getting off do it alone. Frequently, the time the death occurs after the person orgasms and can’t get themselves down from / out of whatever it was they were using to cut off the flow of oxygen to their brain. It’s a terrible way to die.

One of the reasons that BDSM educators like me preach safety over and over again is to prevent things like this from happening. Sadly, there is so much shame associated with sex and masturbation in this country that most people hide what they’re doing from everyone, and sometimes it kills them. Is autoerotic asphyxiation wrong? I am not going to say that any kink or fetish is wrong, but I am going to say that doing dangerous things alone is far too risky to be worth it. For starters, never hang yourself from anything without someone there to help you. Common sense absolutely extends to the bedroom—or closet, as the case may be. If you want some alone time, utilize “safe calls” where you call someone or they call you at a set time. If you don’t call or don’t pick up the phone, your safe call partner comes over immediately and/or gets help there ASAP.

Autoerotic asphyxiation is a serious thing that can cause serious problems. People who don’t die may suffer from brain damage due to oxygen loss. Some people get away with it for years without having any trouble. There’s a thing in the BDSM/Leather community called RACK which stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and some of us live by that motto. What that means is that you’re aware of the risk in whatever it is you’re doing—be it a light spanking or a 14-person interrogation scene. Be aware that the risk you take when you dabble with danger by yourself is great and that your friends and family would probably not consent to losing you permanently. Keep that in mind and practice your kink in a safer, saner environment.

I hope that answers your question Dee; and even in the darkest hours when we’re mourning the loss of a dynamic actor and icon, I hope that we can still have a good time. If you have any other questions, please, just ask away.

Enjoy yourself,
Julian

Upcoming Albuquerque Events With Carnal Conundrums Author Julian Wolf!

KUNM Overnight Freeform, Co-Hosting with The Wolfman
Aug. 24, Sunday night / Monday morning, 1 to 5 a.m.
Not awake then? Listen for up to two weeks online!
89.9 FM,  www.kunm.org

StrangeLove: Leather/Masquerade Ball
Aug. 26, 9 p.m., 4th Street Nightclub
No cover from 9 to 10 p.m. After 10 p.m. $8 cover, $5 with costume
www.myspace.com/434351309